My year so far.

Shock. That is the only way to describe it. After the treatment last year and the wonderful news I was Cancer free post surgery, I thought I had time. Time to heal. Time to live my life. Feel normal. It took a good 4 months to recover from surgery. Just when I thought I could try to exercise things were happening to me. My lips felt numb, then my face, then I started to fall down. I fell in the bathroom, 2 months later that bruise is still healing. I was told to see my oncologist. Off we went. I was admitted for an MRI. I walked into the appt. Wobbly but I walked in by myself. 

Once admitted my situation changed dramatically. I couldn't walk at all without help. I was leaning to the left. My steps were tiny shuffle steps. Scary. I'm reminded how aggressive my cancer is by my surgeon when I ask if we should have done more chemo? I don't know why I asked him that ( a question for my chemo oncologist) but I trust him. 

I was in a room that was not hopeful. I had 4 different people share the room while there. We tried so hard to get a private room but the hospital was full. One patient, a very nice man, who was blind and he had the window bed. He didn't even want it as it was too chilly on the side. But they would not switch us due to the cost. Then there was the night one patient died beside me. 

Here's that room.

 Here is the very nice man that could not see. His sister and wife would sing a prayer to him, it was beautiful. I asked if they would sing for me, they did. Yes, I cried.

 So many friends have supported me since this has happened, grateful for that. It helps give me strength.
And reconnecting with people I have not seen in a long time, that has surprised me, overwhelmed me. Made me feel loved.

 This is my Physiotherapist who helped me walk. She and Gwen were so positive and wonderful. Amazing what they know, and how much the helped me.

 My crazy radiation mask.

And once in the short-term rehab program. This was my room. I entered and immediately felt hope. Immediate happiness. I felt positive something good was going to happen here.

 My sister bought me these big fuzzy slippers :)

 And missing my dogs, I got a few good doses of Therapy dogs. This is Buddy.

So now I am home! I can walk. I have a cane and a walker. Also started to feel my left foot again. That is encouarging. As I was told it could be months befoe that happens, if at all. Looking forward to spring. I want to move!

I am grateful for each day. That is my reality. But I have moments. This is unbelievable. I look at my body and can't believe what I have been through. It is hard to look at myself - the scars. So, I have to believe in myself.

My progress.