After being part of a club for awhile I was surprised by the response I got when I was starting to feel ill. My energy level was low, I knew something was wrong but as I mentioned earlier, my physician dismissed my symptoms and so I was trying to work through it on my own. My coach kept telling me how other people who had been far more ill than myself (or so we thought at the time) and would tell me how I was essentially weak and lazy. I can't tell you how discouraging it was to hear those types of comments. And now, as thrilled and amazed as I am that a woman competing while going through chemo that just lends itself to more comparisons and feelings of not being strong or able to push through the pain. This is so very very wrong. What I have learned from this experience is that there are so many different types of Cancer. And with that, there are so many different types of cocktails to treat each of those Cancers. Then, factor in how we are each individuals and react differently to those chemicals, we will not all respond or react the same way. Don't lump all Cancer patients into one big pot thinking one treatment is the same for all. Give them a break. Don't judge. It's such an individual experience and if you are someone who is trying to push through or being told to push through and train....find another coach. Allow yourself the rest you need, if you need it....pushing through that doesn't promote healing it just puts more pressure on yourself and do you need that on top of everything else? No.
When I am ready to swim again, I will find a club that is kinder and gentler. That's what I will need. Not someone telling me I'm weak. I know I'm not. Neither are you.
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